The Gift of a Sibling

Aida, Caleb and Arlo have a connection only siblings enjoy

 I specifically remember a conversation with my husband in 2009 when we discussed whether or not Arlo would have a younger sibling.  He already had an older brother and their bond was strong but they are also 7 years apart which has its own set of interesting dynamics.  It was a very brief conversation and there wasn't really a clear "answer".... and then there was.  A sibling was on the way so ready or not he was becoming the middle child and we would be a family of 5. 
  I know that not all families have close relationships and not all siblings are friends (Cain and Abel) however, Craig and I both are extremely close with our siblings and we hope this rings true for our 3 children too. 
Your sibling is your personal link to the deepest most enduring friendships available on this planet.  Whether you share genes or were hand selected to be a part of the same family, you have a friendship that includes your greatest and most challenging memories. 

Here are my top 5 reasons having a sibling is a true gift:

1.  They are yours
The fact that you have a sibling, that they just simply exist is the first building block to your enduring friendship.  It doesn't matter if you were born from the same parents, were adopted, shared or borrowed.  Together you are a part of the same family.  You shared a your room, dining table, clothes, campfire stories, laughs, fights and tears.  You are theirs and they are yours.  Because of this ownership, there are no take backs or give-aways...you are pleasantly stuck together until death and even then your connection lives on (see #5). 

2.  They know all your secrets

Remember when you had that boyfriend and you would sneak out of the basement window to meet up?  How about when you fled from the police when that swim team party was busted and your sibling covered for you as you snuck in way past curfew? *any resemblance to true stories is simply coincidence
They know yours and you know theirs so this is an effective way to ensure you stay best friends because without that trust you'd both have your secrets broadcasted.  It is a form of insurance. 
Seriously though.  They know things about you maybe no one else on the planet is aware of and these stories make up the entire you.  The whole you.  Isn't it amazing to have someone who knows all of these things about you and loves you anyway?

3.  They have your back

Whatever weather or middle of the night disaster, your sibling is there for you no matter the distance between you.  Pick up the phone or drive over, they are there to answer and open the door to whatever it might be you are facing.  They understand all of your challenges because (see #1) they are yours and they (see #2) know all of your history.  They don't even need to talk because they have the gift of presence and can calm you just simply by being themselves and being there. 

4.  They can get away with ripping on your parents
This is something your neighbor, coworker or college roommate better never try and get away with!  Your sibling can jokingly work through all of the weirdness that is your parents.  Together you will come to a greater understanding of what your parents are and you can laugh about it and move on without hard feelings.  Plus they can give you a gentle knuckle punch in the shoulder when you are getting a little carried away when laughing at dad's whitey tighties.  Together you can poke fun at your roots while strengthening the bond that makes you a family.

5.  They will have kids that will be your kids' best friends

Caleb and Fayde-sons of brothers

Cousins.  Yes, we all need siblings that are our best friends and cousins are doubly that because they can satisfy #1 through #5 if you and your sibling do it right and hang out regularly for life.  These kids will be raised in the results that were the collective experiences of best friend siblings.  They will challenge you both in ways you are ready for (because you did exactly that) and in ways you have no idea how to handle. Who better to call than a sibling who may have parenting advice and experiences that can help you perfect your parenting skills?



Some people believe that you choose your family well before you are born and maybe there is nothing more evident of that idea than your enduring friendship with your sibling.  From the day you met you were destined to see through the years together despite your differences and distance so pick up the phone, write a note or walk next door and connect with your sibling - the gift that keeps on giving.